So, I break out the tool bag to build a bday present bike for one of my boys. I’ve had this tool bag for 11 years- no I’m not OCD or got some weird date-time-continuum-possessions thing going on, I know I got it then, cos it was in the shop when I took over (97). It replaced my classic open canti lever hinge metal tool box my dad gave me back in must be 81/82, with stickers, Skyway, Mongoose, Oakley (when it was cool….oh never mind), I still have this box, (obviously, some one who can write 4 figures on his tool boxes isn’t going to be so callous as to cast old ones aside, eh?!) , but now it just contains tools that are so shit/knackered/obscure they’ll never see the light of day, the motor bike chain off my 90’s T.A, and Craig Campbells old mallet stem. Sometimes you just can’t part with stuff. If you’re still under, oh, say 25, don’t let this happen to you.
Back to the ‘new’ tool bag
Open it up…. jesus! How am I going to find anything, what a frickin mess! At work, we have this thing for the tools, a big box of asst used bits and heavy duty tools, and a small plastic tray thing, like the ones they have in a ‘proper’ bike shop workshop - slotted on the wall - full of ‘no.2 left thread derailleur docking screws’ or whatever the fook they have in those places.
Anyways, this plastic container is meant to contain only the necessities to build a bike from box, you know 5 and 6 mil allens, and the various open-enders and sockets you need.
+++Of course, in your own ‘toolkit’ bitd, you’d have the obligatory (and, mandatory) mole grip, tooooo big for any normal application adjustable, and maybe a house brick (profile crank installation, booyaka dread eye! Exeter joke. From the time dready kev pioneered this technique.) +++
Back to the work tools, so I’m on the case to Gav, I turn my back on the ‘essential’ tool box, and next time I pick it up, I’m wading through a hammer, asst bits of chain link, maybe a cast off bar end, one of Skinners stripped nuts…..ha ha!....... just loads of crap. A 9/16 allen for profile end bolts? I might be wrong, but last time I checked, a Ruption Force didn’t come with Profiles as OEM stock. Irony being, what’s in my personal kit -----
So, to the bag. Here’s a run down of some of the more character laden amongst them…
Mole grip. Pride of place, or shame of place. When hasn’t one of these ubiquitous bad boys saved your ass. This specimen has done battle with everything from a Standard Lengthy drop out (yep) to everyday uses like an 8mil pinch bolt (joke).
Adjustable. Nothing to say, except probably been used every time the bag’s been opened.
Knackered screw driver, seen action levering/hitting, sometimes even screwing, numerous parts/places (easy..)
Length of threaded bar, guess a spare spindle for a P.E. hub. The one that was developed before the G-Sport one, used a push thru spindle instead of axle bolts. No seizing probs. Why the beejesus is this still in here? My ride hasn’t rolled on P.E.’s this millennium! (yes, I read/read, grindstate.com, hence the ‘my ride’ and ‘rolled’ N.Y.C. hipsterism. Like that wordy - read; read.)
Tube of grease. Must have.
Enough chain to anchor the Q.E 2.
What is definitely part of an 80’s roof bar clamp. Who knows? An ill fated fork mounted peg packer? Revolutionary chain adjuster? Or, off one of my bangers; of course your bike tool kit is the only one you have, so when the car’s up the swanny, the first port of call is the t-rusty tool stash.
Da Kine ratchet snowboard tool. Again inherited with the shop. Never used. Course when I eventually got round to going snow boarding, this year, (remember this bag dates to 97, god), and hired a board that the binding position made me feel like an 80’s legs akimbo x-up, where was my tool? Home. Had to search for a tool point, no Phillips, ask the ski school chap, who shows me the quick release no tools required adjustment on the bindings. I feel real knowledgeable at this point.
Cap off non existent WD40. Shame, cos like the mole grip, WD40 can wield magic like Merlin never even possessed. Hey, ‘WD40 can’ another great wordy.
Spoke. When was the last time you halted a session to replace A SPOKE?
Keep it in there just in case.
And…………sockets, numerous allen keys to fit owt from a pre 6mil red neck to the diddy one needed for Knarps, washers- asst in rustiness never usefulness, tyre levers (never spoons), skateboard rubbers, bit more chain, thecheapestcrappiestchaintoolyoueverdidsee, feeler gauge set (see cars, earlier), freewheel remover, ha!, the tube bit off the deceased can of WD40, and this –
The wedge/cable pinch bolt arrangement for a Pitbull. Been there from THE LAST TOOL BOX, and that pitbull bit was obsolete since 95 (S&M’s got A.D.s), so had spent 2 fruitless years in the box, before being transferred across to this bag!!
‘uh, just in case’ ??!! Again, who knows.
Like I said ‘don’t let this happen to you’.
